“Peer”ental Pressure: Parents, Kids, and Social Media

I always find it humorous when parents question how their children are being exposed to bad things on the Internet after they gave their child the devices.    This is something I hear on a regular basis, so I figured this week, I would take a look at the reality of kids on the Internet (and the disillusionment of some parents).  I also want to talk a little bit about cyberbullying and how you can protect your kids.

Image by Anviere from Pixabay

We have all seen children playing games on their parents cell phone while they are grocery shopping.  How about the child who is on a car ride with their parents and then they act up so out comes the cell phone to keep them busy?  As adults, we have given in to the instant gratification of the child so we don’t have to suffer the air pollution that follows if we don’t.

Before too much longer, you are getting the child their own phone so they can “call home in case of emergencies.”  Secretly of course you hope that they will play games on their own phone instead of hijacking yours.  Then of course comes “Can I have a Facebook (Instagram, Snapchat, or whatever else app) account?”  So it begins.

If you are like most parents, you will give in eventually.  There are only so many times you can hear “but so and so has one and their mom (or dad) set it up for them!”  This is where the trouble begins.  We know that most social media outlets have age restrictions (that parents turn a blind eye to) to prevent kids from being placed in harm’s way.

Since you and I both know it is going to happen, we should discuss what potential threats exist.  First of all, you have the sexual predators that utilize social media accounts to gain access to children that they wouldn’t normally have access to.  Secondly, we need to remember the threats are just as real when it comes to older teens as well.  The threats are numerous and they are real.  They can range from interactions between the child/teen and their peers, to viewing content on YouTube that appears harmless but then instructs them to harm themselves.

This is where my biggest piece of advice comes in: take note of where your children are going for content.  This is very important.  The reason is that if you don’t know where your kids are going, you can’t effectively protect them.  Case in point: Your child likes to watch cartoons and you normally let them watch them on your phone.  Even if it starts out that you search the cartoon channel, they will eventually begin searching for more on their own.

In the case of YouTube, there have been several instances where kids have come into contact with content that is definitely not age appropriate.  The “Momo Challenge” has been an issue for quite a while, even to the point that law enforcement has put out warnings.  This isn’t the only type of such instances when it comes to YouTube so I’d like to share a piece of advice…

There are many resources that will walk you through the exact process so I won’t bore you with specifics, but one of the things you should do is to set YouTube to restricted mode within the child or teen’s computer or phone.  While this isn’t a foolproof method, it will at least be a good start because it will engage the mechanism searching for improper content.

Google is also trying to do their part in bridging the safety gap by way of their Safety Center where you can find helpful information on protecting your family through technology, tips, and more.  In fact, they have something that I think is a nifty app called Family Link that can allow you to monitor the location of your child, their activity, how much they are online, the apps they utilize, and more.

There are several other applications you can also download that can assist in attempting to filter out and block inappropriate content, or even block specific applications all together.  Tom’s Guide offers a list of the top parental control applications for 2019 for mobile devices.  Digital Trends offers some help by listing the top apps as well.  Once again, do your research before selecting any particular app to make certain you understand how it works, what it is doing, and that it is from a reputable developer.

The next thing I recommend doing is to head over to Safesearchkids.com which has a plethora of helpful advice regarding how to best protect our younger generations while they navigate the dangerous waters of the Internet.

The last thing I want to discuss is cyberbullying.  There have been many films, novels, and articles that have it at its core.  No one is truly immune from cyberbullying because social media brings the bully straight to where you are as soon as you are online.  In the past, bullies were left behind as children made their way to the safety of their home.  Not anymore.  As a parent or caregiver of a child, be sure to monitor all of the social media accounts you allow your child to access.

Over 80% of teens use a cell phone regularly, making it the most common medium for cyber bullying.

– dosomething.org

Don’t be afraid to set up a family account for your child to access their media accounts so as to ensure your ability to access anything they might post, search for, add, or receive communications from. Depending on the child’s age, you may even want to consider placing the computer or device they access the net with in a highly visible location in the house or in your possession.

almost 40% of teenagers have dealt with a cyber bully and 25% of them have had it happen more than once

Children can be cruel and now with a global platform to voice their words on, it can destroy a child’s fragile ego and confidence.  According to Dosomething.org, almost 40% of teenagers have dealt with a cyber bully and 25% of them have had it happen more than once.  What is worse, is that they don’t always tell an adult or someone who can do something about it.  Grab your child, tween, or teen and sit them down.

In the end, controls can only take you so far, regardless of which social media platform is being used.  The number one thing you can do is to communicate with your child (or niece, nephew, grandchild, etc.) what is ok to do and what is not.  Not to mention, you want them to know what to do if they are confronted with something that feels wrong or tells them to do something they shouldn’t or don’t want to do.  Have that talk now, before it is too late.

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