The Outsider

The Outsider

Trying to fit in can be very difficult.  It can be even more difficult when you have social anxiety.  Some people tend to have problems getting along with people or getting along with people.  Part of that has to be because we have gotten so used to technology and looking down at our mobile devices as opposed to looking someone in the face and doing this old thing called “Talking” with one another.  When I was younger we moved around a lot.  Never really stayed in one place for longer than 2 years.  That’s because I grew up in a military household, so we were always being transferred to different bases.  I was always having difficulty making friends because the moment I got to know someone either I would leave, or they would.  This was difficult for me because I always thought the reason why I never had any friends was because it was me.  There was always this voice inside my head that said I was never good enough.  So, I listened to that voice and started spending time alone in my room.  I was in my room playing with toy soldiers and LEGO figures making up voices and keeping myself company.  Then when it was time for me to make friends as I got older, I had an extremely difficult time trying to get along with people because it seemed that everyone I knew had lifelong friends.  So, I was always the outsider of the groups.  Id didn’t seem to fit in anywhere or with anyone.  And that was very difficult for me to accept.  I always wanted friends or even a relationship.  But the more I tried the harder it seemed.  I started getting anxiety whenever I had to do group projects during class with someone I didn’t know because I always wondered what that person was thinking.  I was tempted to say, “I’m sorry. You can do the project with someone else if you’d like,” because I knew they didn’t want nothing to d with me.  If I could have a super power, it would be the ability to read people’s minds.  For me I have difficulty telling if someone is serious or being sarcastic.  Or if someone was angry with me or just in a bad mood.  It would be really exhausting from time to time.  It’s normal to feel nervous in some social situations. For example, going on a date or giving a presentation may cause that feeling of butterflies in your stomach. But in social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, everyday interactions cause significant anxiety, fear, self-consciousness and embarrassment because you fear being scrutinized or judged by others.  In social anxiety disorder, fear and anxiety lead to avoidance that can disrupt your life. Severe stress can affect your daily routine, work, school or other activities.  Social anxiety disorder is a chronic mental health condition but learning coping skills in psychotherapy and taking medications can help you gain confidence and improve your ability to interact with others.  Feelings of shyness or discomfort in certain situations aren’t necessarily signs of social anxiety disorder, particularly in children. Comfort levels in social situations vary, depending on personality traits and life experiences. Some people are naturally reserved, and others are more outgoing.  In contrast to everyday nervousness, social anxiety disorder includes fear, anxiety and avoidance that interfere with daily routine, work, school or other activities. Social anxiety disorder typically begins in the early to mid-teens, though it can sometimes start in younger children or in adults.

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